Wine Mixed With Water

It all started with a photograph.

At the Athens Museum of Archaeology, we stood in awe as we laid our eyes upon incredibly detailed and impressive marble statues, all built no less than 2300 years ago. After gazing at statue upon statue, I decided it was time to mix it up. My classmate and I decided that we were going to take posing pictures with the statues.

Now for those of you in the States reading this without Greek cultural context allow me to educate you. Greeks are very prideful. It's a pride in who they are and the fact that they've been around for over 3000, and have accomplished much in that time. As a result, they view posing with their museum exhibitions to be disgraceful or disrespectful.

Well, although I respect the Greeks, I figured a few poses wouldn't hurt anyone, and I was ready to spice up our visit. A classmate and I set up the first shot with none other than the mighty Zeus.

As I quickly snapped the first photo, immediately I heard a woman behind me shout, “MISS!” A moment later my camera lens was covered by her hand. As my partner turned away from the mighty Zeus I stood my place as this woman attempted to frighten me with death stares that would’ve made puppies whimper.

As I moved away from her I realized I had something stuck inside my shoe. As I lifted my right shoe and looked at what I thought was a piece of wood, I pried it loose.

As I turned my head to the other exhibits, my attention was quickly diverted due to the sound of marble bouncing on marble floors. I shot my gaze to the source of the sound and to my terror, found that what had been stuck in my shoe from the walk over here was not a piece of wood, but a piece of white marble, that was currently bouncing and clanging as loud as a college marching band drum major throughout the silent marble statue exhibit. As I ran to pick it up I had just got it in my hands before looking up and seeing security rush over to me.

In the moments before security reached me, I looked down upon the marble culprit that was bringing me to my doom. I knew where it had come from, because streets in Athens are COVERED with marble, so getting a piece of marble in your shoe was not uncommon. Yet this piece was long, white, and looked carved. I simply just stood looking at it in amazement.

As I was swiftly escorted from the museum floor I dared not try to make eye contact with anyone, especially my professors. My terror and embarrassement was something I wanted to share with me, myself, and I.

They briskly brought me to some little well-lit room with a table. It wasn’t some dim lit shed with one overbearing light shining right on me, but it might as well have been, because I was terrified.

They began questioning me in Greek, but upon realizing I was not one of them, they began questioning me in broken English. I struggled to slow my words as I tried to explain to them how a carved piece of white marble was in my possession, but WASN’T mine. Between their frustrations with English, and my frustrations with speaking English at a rate slow enough for even English majors, we spent 30 minutes going around in circles. Finally someone from the museum was brought in who spoke fluent English, and conveyed to them based upon the amount of sweat that I had poured out, the trembling in my voice, and the “Series of Unfortunate Events” story that was too elaborate to be made up on the spot as a cover up, they let me go.

I walked out to find my classmates and professors waiting for me. Before I could say a word the “little room” attendants approached my professor and within 15 seconds of Greek, they had left and he smiled at me. Without asking me to divulve the details of my detainment, we proceeded on to looking at gold and other jewelery that was thousands of years old. However, I don’t believe my heartbeat came down to a healthy rate until we got home.

"If it is well told and to the point, that is what I myself desired; if it is poorly done and mediocre, that was the best I could do. For just as it is harmful to drink wine alone, or, again, to drink water alone, while wine mixed with water is sweet and delicious and enhances one's enjoyment, so also the style of the story delights the ears of those who read the work. And here will be the end." 2 Maccabees 15: 38-39.