Akira: Bad Romance

I'm cynical, if you haven't already guessed. I have a rather bad romance with life itself and sometimes attempt to correct it. Other times, I just let life boil by. Watch the pot simmer down until the bottom blackens and the iron twists and everything burns.

As this trip comes to its inevitable conclusion, I wonder how I am going to describe this experience to others. Certainly, I will be asked if I had a good time. How do I respond? The answer is far too long. The short answer is rude and no one wants to hear it. They only wish to know how much fun I had, how much I saw that brought me to tears of happiness; all the sights and smells of joy.

But what if this is a true Bad Romance? What if it wasn't a blast in the traditional sense? A fun-filled romp all who have gone before me made it out to be? I learned much about myself but the experiences themselves are scattered practices in madness. I have more complaints than exaultations. I enjoyed what I pulled from my own time alone but there are things--there are troubles. There are problems within myself and the experiences I endured. I have my critiques, my corrections, my tears of fear, sadness, and pain. I keep it bottled up to please those around me, to please those reading my blog and those grading me and those who paid all this money to have me here.

I am a chaotic creature. I am painfully honest to a fault. How do I explain the angry, violent courtship between I and my study abroad program? How do I convey what I have done without sounding ungrateful? Rude? Unappreciative? Because I am, endlessly, thankful for the opportunity--it just traced a path I didn't...

How much trouble will my honest perception of this bad romance bring?