Losing Your Head - An Unconscious Decision and Unexplainable Experience

Today I heard a couple friends reflecting on their individual thought processes before applying for this trip; this caused me to think about mine.

The idiom of “losing one’s head” can hold a variety of interpretations. Outside of its literal meaning, the phrase may be used as a reference to losing composure or becoming unruly, however in the context of my blog, I’d like to propose a different interpretation. To me, “losing one’s head” can be synonymous with not using it at all, making decisions without much thought or consideration.

All in all, “losing one’s head” is manifested in the shortcutting and step-skipping when making proper cognitions. I think the above picture serves as a kind of metaphor for this kind of decision, which, low and behold, ended up leading me to this present opportunity. When thinking about how I came to be in Greece, this abandoned lifeguard post represents my “diving into the deep end” (so to speak) when I decided to come on this trip.

I turned in my application on the final day it was due, despite having completed it a month in advance. I had consulted with my parents, who to little surprise offered their full encouragement and monetary support, however I remained skeptical of being accepted to the trip and guilty about the cost that my parents would have to bear. Looking back, my decision to pursue the Greece trip appeared out of nowhere; I had “lost my head”, checking a box on a piece of paper without the least bit of research or consultation.

Little by little things started to sink in, but looking back to the three preparation meetings and the preceding pizza party, it almost felt as if I was planning for an adventure that I never believed was going to happen. Medical consultations, group projects, and Greek dialogues aside, they all seemed as if they belonged in my schedule, but were not part of some culminating adventure.

It’s funny how opportunities like this can arise so unexpectedly. Before I knew it I was on a ten-hour plane ride to a place where I had almost no expectations. I knew little about the culture, little about the language (communication barriers in even the simplest situations is one easy way to “lose your head”), and knew only a few of people who were going along with me.

Consequently, I have ended up in a place where this phrase takes on another definition. Something as mindless as walking around a farmer’s market or skipping along the coast of the Aegean Sea has caused my mind to blow. In turn, you realize that the experience never really sinks in completely; sights like these, smells like these, and experiences like these are so hard to articulate and capture that all you can do is soak up what you can, hoping that you don’t “lose your head”.